Don't Drink Poison

Rock for Sale

Would this be a win or a fail?

The Techno Viking

First I need to say that I am sorry for not posting anything recently. Now that that is out of the way, I want to talk about my favorite youtube clip of the moment. The Techno Viking . The first thing that we notice about Mr. Viking, is that he is very chivalrous as you can tell by his protection of the girl with the bright blue hair. The victim in this case is obviously intimidated of the Techno Viking and listens to his every word which is perfectly understandable. The Techno Viking needs some duct tape, because he is Ripped.

Another thing I find interesting about the Techno Viking is that the crowd makes offerings to him including water and what appears to be anti-techno propaganda (which he imediately rips to shreds). The crowd does everything they can to appease The Techno Viking including walking when he begins to dance and stopping when he stops. They want no part of his fury and I do not blame them at all.

In the end, despite the fact that he has awesome outfit which includes combat boots and camo shorts, we find out that the Techno Viking can be controlled by the hairs on his chinny chin chin.

I don't know who you are, or where you came from, or why you dance in the street, but thank you for coming into my life Techno Viking.

Look Alikes

It has just come to my attention that METHOD MAN from the rap group Wu Tang Clan looks a lot like Rasheed Wallace from the Detroit Pistons.

In other look alike news. I am pretty sure that the R&B group Pretty Ricky are the people that murdered Sean Taylor.

Also the head coach of the Orlando Magic, Stan Van Gundy reminds me of adult film star Ron Jeremy.

If anyone has any other look alikes. Please let me know and I will update the blog.

Happy birthday to you!!

This weekend was the celebration of my friend K.P.'s birthday (no actual names will be used to help protect the innocent) Friday night a few of us got together at Fleecy Bear's house to have some beers and watch the Penguins game. After the game we decided to go to a bar close to Fleecy's house called Fox and Hound. The bar had an interesting location as it was part of a shopping plaza and actually connected to a Dick's sporting goods. When our group walked in, we were immediately hit in the face with a stench of onion rings and vomit. We decided to stay despite the aroma and I joined the birthday boy at the Internet jukebox and helped select a playlist for the ages. After we ate and had a few more beers and shots, we decided to play some of the games and have a small competition at the quarterback challenge game. After a pathetic "warm up" score, I dominated the competition by hitting long pass after long pass and beating the next closest score by about 250 yards. Not too bad for a former wide receiver.

At this point I would like to say that everyone was feeling great with exception of the two ladies that had the privilege of driving our drunk asses around. Even being intoxicated, I still managed to pencil my name into the the record books for two unusual records that fell last night. The first was set during a simple game of Paper, Rock, Scissors match that we were playing to choose teams for the upcoming game of pool. During this epic best-two-of-three match, myself and the birthday boy picked exactly the same thing for 17 consecutive times.
The second record was one that doesn’t exactly make me proud. I was involved in the LONGEST game of pool ever. The game just would not end. It is a good thing that one of the people I was playing had ADD and was distracted enough to not see me move the balls into the pockets with my hands which evenutally led my team to the big W.

No trip to a bar with this group of friends could not be completed without a Kindergarten Pee.
As the bathroom trick was taking place, two gentlemen opened the door, saw the pants around the ankles and stopped to stare. The "Kinder gardener" turned and said "whats wrong, you guys don't pee like this?' and then proceeded to join the group back at the bar.

Once we returned to Fleecy's house, I impressed everyone with my randomness by pulling a sleeping bag and inflatable mattress out of my car's trunk. The only problem was that there was a small hole in the mattress that we tried to plug. We tried scotch tape, tissues, chewing gum, medical goss, and combinations of all. The atempt to plug the hole failed and I woke up on a flat mattress the next morning.

The rest of the adventures from Saturday will continue with a future post to the Red Kool-Aid.

Day One

Rough Day at work, and I thought "If Gilbert Arenas can do this, why can't I?"